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There have been consistent campaigns against sexual and gender based violence against persons, but most of the efforts seem to be concerned more with protecting the women. It is a general belief that women are weaker but instances abound and increasing where, husbands suffer untold battering from their wives, thus; the campaign has extended to protect the menfolk who are also victims.

*Combating the increasing menace involving husbands as victims of spousal battering is challenging in our clime given the reality of our sociocultural male chauvinist tendencies.

*These male victims carry the burden alone and suffer measureless psychological trauma because the society expected them to be the stronger gender. The fear of their friends, colleagues and relatives mocking them, makes these husbands undivulging till it hits the dangerous crescendo, causing severe and permanent body harm or death.

*Last year alone, there were over 3,000 reported cases of spousal battering with the husbands as victims, according to a survey in lagos state. There were also extreme cases of husband battering from other states that trended on social media last year; the man whose genital was cut-off by his wife, the case of the man whose wife poured hot water on his back, the case of the man whose wife set his bed on fire while he was sleeping etc.

*Speak-up now!!!, to save yourself or a loved one who is a victim of sexual and gender based violence. Many have died or have been permanently disfigured in trying to manage a bad relationship. Once the crack of physical abuse starts manifesting in your relationship, seek counselling immediately from those equipped with requisite knowhow to handle such delicate matters.

*You can save one more life by making sure you will care rather than mock a friend who is a victim of spousal battering. Be intentional about genuinely rendering help in such a manner that will protect the individual’s ego and sense of self-pride. Encourage him to seek help immediately and also prescribe temporary separation, in cases of extreme aggression and uncontrollable physical abuse.

*No one deserves to die while struggling to save a marriage because of what the society will say. When a relationship cracks beyond redemption, it is best to let go. Abuse in a relationship won’t end by managing it but by the two making deliberate efforts to resolving the issues.

*Physical injuries could heal but psychological
wounds never really heal.

… Just making native sense.


@ Mazi Eric Dwyse Ikwuagwu
(oracle of native sense)

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